Fog, Fire, and Rain
by Verdin
Summary: Lu Xun had always thought that death was final, and had fought valiantly to preserve life. However, perhaps his thoughts have now changed...


**Note(s):** Um…Yes, well…I can only say this: I should have put this short story up here long ago…Please do not ask me why I only just now got around to it…Any how, this is a short story centred on a particular friendship, although I will say now that it is not happy…At all…And, as always, constructive criticism is appreciated, but remember to be _fair_ and _courteous_…Thank you…

Oh, and by the way: Shen Li _belongs to_ _me_…He is _mine_…And yes, he _has_ been used before without my permission, so let me say now, if I see _anyone_ using him without my consent, I will personally hunt that person down, grind them up into bread, and then feed them to a flock of crows…

'**Fog, Fire, and Rain'**

The early autumn morning was chill and serene. The air was extremely cold, and the breeze that whispered through the trees, though gentle, was frigid. The majestic evergreens, cloaked in the early morning fog, were unmoving, frozen, and indifferent to their surroundings. Shimmering ice crystals covered the ground for miles around like tiny glass shards blindingly reflecting the rays of the giant red orb that filled the eastern horizon.

I do not remember the morning that well, not really. I make up for the lost fragments of my memory by picturing it how I see fit, adding my own inexpert pieces to the puzzle, hoping that they will suffice in completing the picture. The golden mist, the royal evergreens…all things I would have liked to have seen. How nice it would have been to be enclosed and secure within that mist, with you by my side. My friend…But I remember the words we spoke that day as though it were a moment ago.

"Lu Xun…" Your voice was soft in my ears, and I turned to you. 

"Yes?" I replied.

I watched you calmly as you sat on the fence beside where I stood, your hands resting casually on the wooden rail as you balanced yourself without effort, staring into the distance with a look of contemplation on your face.

"When the war is over, what do you plan on doing?" you asked. It was a strange question for someone like you to ask, but your tone was so simple. Rather funny, even. It was as if you had asked me no more than what I planned on doing later that afternoon.

I raised my eyebrows in wonderment. "After the war?" I repeated. Blinking slowly, I turned again to look toward the horizon where the dark mountains met the hazy sky in a clash of white fog and black shadows. "I suppose I would like to continue with my studies. There is so much knowledge to be gained, Shen Li, and so little time. I only wish I could learn all of it, but I can only try to learn as much as possible."

Then, without hesitating, you looked over at me and inquired, "What's the most important thing a person can learn in his lifetime?"

Crossing my arms in thought, I gazed over at you once more. I still remember your face: Your features were young and pale, and your wide, dark eyes glowed with such warmth that even a stranger would have found comfort in them. There seemed to be a cheerful gleam within those black depths, a gleam that was modest but hopeful, like the strong, flickering flame of a candle burning brightly against the darkness of evening. I could not help but smile as you grinned in that carefree manner of yours. You were still naïve back then, unaware of how bleak and cruel the world is. In your young mind, justice prevailed over all things, and in the end everything was as it should have been. How foolish of you to have assumed such a thing. You could not know that this world runs according to laws of pain, murder, and chaos, and that justice is no more than a childish fantasy that infantile men cling to and pretend to believe in.

But the worst of it was that I did not like to think that you had stumbled into this world of hatred and mercilessness. You were oblivious to the demons that haunt our world. One careless step and your life could have ended. And there you sat, your short black hair blowing suddenly across your face as a cold blast of wind hit the both of us. How could you anticipate the harsh truth that threatened to shatter your security like an ominous, menacing foe? "Don't worry," I sighed, but you did not hear me. My thoughts continued, "I'll guide you safely through the maze. That's why I'm here beside you, Shen Li. I won't let anything happen to you, my friend."

I spoke the last words firmly in answer to your question. "The most important thing we can learn in our lifetime is that…"

"" "" ""

"Shen Li?"

You turned your head to look at me, acknowledging that you had heard me, even though you did not give any type of reply.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

You nodded casually, a look of artificial tranquility spread upon your features. I never liked that look…It was so different from the natural air you used to possess. In fact, everything about you seemed different. How many months had it been since we had first started fighting side by side as comrades in arms? We had been through more battles together than I could count, and I had protected you loyally in each and every one of them, just as I had promised. I had kept my oath to the best of my ability; every time I saw Death ready to strike you down on the battlefield, I would challenge him, and each time, I won those challenges. When enemy officers would try to hit you from behind, I would step in and strike them down before they could kill you; when arrows came raining down on the both of us, I would move in front of you without a second thought to knock them away. And all to ensure that you would keep on living in order for you to be by my side for as long as the gods would allow.

But I never anticipated any other consequences. I never dreamt that the horrors of war would swallow you whole and change _you_. As I sat there staring at you, my eyebrows drawn together in concern, I cursed the world for what it had done to you. Gone was the innocence and the warmth that lit your eyes so long ago. Gone was the friend I once knew.

In your place was a quiet young man with a sadness that I had never seen before. The flame that used to light your dark eyes had faded to ash, embers struggling to withstand wintry winds but doomed to die. Only a shadow of your childish smile lingered on your face. And your hair…the short, once-jet-black strands were now a lifeless grey tangle that seemed to channel your psychological turmoil. You looked so pitiful. You could not be more than sixteen years old, and yet you looked as though you had experienced a terrifying journey through the Valley of Death. The immunity to the grief of other people that only a veteran of war held, blended with the frightened, traumatised look of a young man, had created a being full of sorrow. You had been put through such pain, it seemed. Had I failed to protect _you_, my friend? I had protected your life…But I had not protected you, had I?

"Lu Xun…" You began quietly, the bronze glow of the nearby fireplace casting grey shadows across your ill-pale face. "The most important thing a person could learn in their lifetime…Is it still what you said it was?"

"" "" ""

I stand on the deserted battlefield, a feeling of heaviness pressing down on my chest and shoulders. A steady sheet of rain spills from the sky as if it will never cease, pouring down so hard that it causes my skin to burn with the contact, but I ignore it. Yet again you and I have fought in another battle together, and our kingdom has emerged as the victor. You fought bravely today; I was impressed more than I could ever tell you, as well as stunned. Just as you have changed, so has your style of fighting. No longer do you seem to be furiously pushing yourself beyond what you are capable of, simply to survive within a sea of enemies. Watching you today filled me with pride, the kind of pride that friends have in each other when they admire the other's skill. How did you suddenly become so calm, able to flow with the tide of danger? How did you use the enemy's own moves against them like that, all the while looking them in the eye with such serenity and fearlessness? I only wish I could watch you fight like that one last time.

But today _was_ the last time. As I stand silently on the muddy plains where silver puddles of rainwater dot the ground all around me, I know…Somehow I know that you are dead. Somewhere out there, you are lost, lying face down in a muddy pit of water, surrounded by thousands of other cold bodies just like yours. You cannot feel the rain falling upon you now, nor can you see the bloody fields, or smell the black smoke that is carried across the wind as fires from the battle die out. You cannot see the grey heavens as they weep for you and mourn your death…just as I do.

I swallow deeply, trying to suppress the choking sensation that fills my throat, the wracking sobs pushing from deep in my chest, seeking escape. The tears that flow from my eyes blend with the rain that streams down my face. I do not mind crying. I know it is only a human emotion, one that a man must submit to without shame when he has lost a dear friend as I have lost you. The only reason I try _not_ to cry is because I know you would not want me to. You once told me you were not afraid to die, because death is inescapable. 'Why should we fear what we know is going to happen?' you said. It sounded like a simple statement at the time, but I know now you were telling me something else. 'Don't be sad for me, Lu Xun. If I die, you have nothing to be sad about. And I know you'll get used to my not being there after a while.'

Not being there…Why can you not be here? For years, I fought to protect you. Then why did you have to let yourself die? I even start to think that you _wanted_ to die. Didn't you…? Yes. Now it all seems to make sense. You wanted to leave. You wanted to be killed. You purposely allowed yourself to be killed by the enemy. All at once, I understand what it was that made you fight like you did today, with ease and tranquility. It was because you were prepared to go at any moment…and this time you were not afraid to let Death take you.

But Death took you away from _me_. And you deliberately permitted him to. Why? I will never understand why you allowed it to be so, Shen Li. It was unfair, and it was an unjust thing for any friend to do. I clench my fists tightly in anger, and slowly my knuckles grow cold from the lack of blood flow. I clench them tighter until my nails begin to dig painfully into my palms, ready to break the skin. I scowl angrily into the distance and I hear my heart pounding madly, the rapid beating echoing inside my chest and head. I want to curse your name for what you have done. You _deserved_ to die alone, just as you did.

Then, without warning, I hear your voice once again. It asks me the same question… "Lu Xun, what _is_ the most important thing we can learn in our lifetime?"

Slowly, the scowl on my face softens. I lower my eyes to stare down at the ground, and I reply in a weak, hoarse tone, "The most important thing we can learn…Is…not about what goes on in this world. Or what happens to us while we are here. It's…how we react to it that matters most."

"I'm glad you taught me that, Lu Xun," you say. Only this time your voice comes from right behind me. Eyes widening involuntarily, I turn swiftly to see if you are there.

And there you sit on a wall nearby, your hands gripping the stone as you smile in that young, carefree manner of yours. A gust of wind blows over you, but you do not look fazed by the chill that it carries. I watch as your shining black hair is blown across your face by the wind. Suddenly, you jump down from the wall and wave cheerfully to me, black eyes gleaming. "See you soon, Lu Xun." And you casually walk…away.


End file.
